As I sat on the Joali, feeling the cool, salty breeze on my face, my mind raced through the long list of chores put on hold just to be here. The floors needed mopping, the sheets needed to be changed, and a trail of mini animal figurines led from the fridge to the sofa—each one, a reminder of the little explorer who runs this space on all fours.
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a soft splash and a burst of giggles. I turned to see my son sitting in the shallow water, clapping his hands as the waves kissed his chubby legs. My husband, his Bappi (Dad), crouched beside him, guiding him gently and laughing with him.
He looked up, spotted me, and squealed, “Mamma!”
Just that one word—half a call, half a celebration—was enough to pull me fully into the moment.
Right then, I forgot about the chores. I remembered something far more important: my presence, my health, my peace—these matter. Not just for me, but for him. He doesn’t care if the apartment sparkles. He cares that I’m here. That I smile. That I have the strength to lift him when he reaches up, arms wide and trusting.
My Presence Matters
There is something powerful about simply being there for your child—not rushing, not fixing, just being present in body, mind, and heart.
Research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child explains that “serve and return” interactions—where a baby makes a sound or gesture and a caregiver responds—are essential for healthy brain development. These everyday moments don’t just soothe your child in the present—they help build a “strong foundation for lifelong learning, behavior, and health”.
At 14 months, my son is full of curiosity. He doesn’t walk yet, but he crawls like a tiny explorer, often glancing back to make sure I’m still nearby. When I’m present—really present—he plays with more confidence and joy. That sense of safety he feels is called secure attachment, and it will help him handle stress, build relationships, and trust the world around him.
But being present isn’t always easy—especially when you're running on little sleep and long lists. A 2024 review in the journal Mindfulness found that mindfulness-based interventions (MBIs) help parents reduce stress and connect more calmly and compassionately with their children.
The best part? Mindfulness doesn’t require hours of meditation. Here are a few simple practices I try to bring into our everyday life:
- Deep Breathing – A few slow breaths when I’m overwhelmed can shift the whole mood of the moment.
- Grounding – Noticing what I can see, hear, and feel while holding or feeding him helps me come back to the now.
- Mindful Watching – Observing him play without distractions reminds me how quickly these moments pass.
- Savoring Small Joys – The warmth of his giggle, the weight of his head on my shoulder—these are worth pausing for.
These little pauses make a big difference. They help me be with him, not just take care of him.
Presence isn’t about perfection. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be energetic or entertaining all the time. I just have to show up. To notice. To see him.
That’s what he needs most. That’s what I give when I care for myself enough to be truly present.
My Health Matters
We hear it all the time: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” But in the early months—and even years—of motherhood, it’s easy to forget we even have a cup. Our days revolve around feeding, changing, rocking, soothing, and worrying. Somewhere in that blur, our own health can quietly slip to the bottom of the list.
But here’s the truth: when a mother is well—physically, mentally, and emotionally—her whole family benefits.
Research shows that a parent’s mental and physical well-being directly affects a child’s emotional development and learning. When we're running on empty, it’s harder to respond calmly or consistently. But when we feel nourished, rested, and supported, we're better equipped to care with intention and love.
I remember feeling utterly exhausted during the first few months of breastfeeding. Some days, I didn’t even have the energy to speak out loud. I assumed this was just how it had to be—until I realized that something as simple as hydration and nutrition could make all the difference.
Once I focused on fueling my body properly, I had more energy, more patience, and more clarity. In fact, I was even able to fast during the month of Ramadan while breastfeeding every 2–3 hours, because I had learned to put my health first.
Caring for your health doesn’t have to be dramatic or expensive. It can begin with small, loving choices:
- Moving your body—even a 10-minute walk outside can boost your mood and energy levels.
- Staying nourished—eating simple, whole foods helps fuel your body for the demands of parenting.
- Checking in with yourself—naming your emotions (even the hard ones) helps you process and release them.
- Asking for support—whether it’s your partner, a friend, or a professional, reaching out is a strength, not a weakness.
On our beach visits, I’ve noticed how much better I feel after just sitting in the breeze, breathing deeply, and letting my shoulders drop. These aren’t luxuries. They’re medicine. For me. For my son. For our bond.
When I care for my health, I model self-respect. I show my child that taking care of your body and mind is not selfish—it’s wise. It’s essential.
My Peace Matters
Peace can feel like a luxury when you're a mother—especially in the early years. The noise, the mess, the unpredictability, the mental load—it all piles up quickly. But I’ve learned that protecting my inner calm isn’t just about feeling better. It’s about being better. For myself, and for my family.
When I’m anxious or emotionally drained, I notice it in my son. He becomes fussier, less settled, almost as if he’s mirroring my stress. That’s because children, even as young as infants, are sensitive to the emotional climate around them. According to research from the Harvard Center on the Developing Child, chronic stress in parents can disrupt a child’s developing brain architecture. But the presence of a calm, emotionally regulated caregiver can buffer that stress and support healthy development.
That makes my peace not just a personal goal—but a parenting tool.
In my experience, protecting my peace sometimes means asking for or accepting support. One of the biggest gifts I've given myself is that extra hour—or two—of sleep in the morning, thanks to my husband taking over caring for our son while I rest. Since I still wake up frequently during the night to breastfeed, that morning rest changes the whole rhythm of my day. I feel more present, more patient, and more like myself.
Sometimes, peace comes in quiet moments on our balcony, just watching the trees sway gently in the breeze. Other times, it’s baking something simple while my son naps, the scent of citrus or warm spices filling the space. I also feel a deep sense of calm when the house is reset—tidied, refreshed, and ready for the next round of chaos. My husband and I often do this together, moving in sync to create a space that feels like a breath of fresh air.
Some ways I protect my peace as a mother:
- Morning rest – My husband takes over in the mornings so I can catch up on sleep after long nights of breastfeeding. That extra rest changes everything.
- Quiet balcony moments – Watching the trees sway while sipping something warm helps me reset my nervous system.
- Baking therapy – Measuring, mixing, and smelling something in the oven gives me a sense of calm and control.
- Resetting the home – A clean, refreshed space helps me feel mentally clear. My husband and I often tidy up together—it’s become our little ritual.
- Digital boundaries – Turning off unnecessary notifications helps me stay present and less frazzled.
- Intentional pausing – Taking a breath before reacting gives me space to respond more calmly.
There’s something sacred about a peaceful mother. Her presence brings stability, her tone brings comfort, her gaze brings safety. I’m not peaceful all the time—and that’s okay. But I’m learning to seek it, protect it, and return to it as often as I can.
Because my peace matters. It shapes the emotional world my child grows up in.
So, Mama—what does caring for yourself look like today? Maybe it’s an extra hour of rest, a walk outside, a tidy corner of your home, or simply saying “no” without guilt. I’d love to know: what’s one small thing you can do this week for your presence, your health, or your peace? Drop it in the comments, and if you try something from this post, share how it turned out for you. Your tips on self-care as a mother might be exactly what another mama needs to hear today.
With love,
Island Mama
Medical doctor and public health graduate student writing from the heart of motherhood.🌿